On Ramadan and the Progression of Life

04/24/2023

Three Ramadans ago (2021), on the first day of the fast, I turned 40 years old.

My intention that day, well in advance, was to celebrate in total solitude. One single social post to celebrate: that’s it. Otherwise, just reflection and simple satiation with my existence as it had unfolded, no more and no less. It was a wonderful change from the usually very social birthdays I enjoy!

Two Ramadans ago (2022), I entered the month of April cloaked in a brutal nadir of confidence. My values were shaken like a Bond martini. My vision hazy like the smog-tinged horizon of Salt Lake City. My soul stirred into a frenzied series of oft-vicious, inward-vibrating critiques and comparisons against any other worldly object or animal that seemed to be "winning."

My personal timeline looked like a pair of Lokis had successfully meddled, and I was stuck in an uncontrollable exit event.

This Ramadan coincided quite neatly the end of that long, painful cocoon-like existential slumber. The self-inflicted wounds born by the passage of accumulation and accomplishment have softened; I have hardened. Omar v42.0 armed with a rejuvenated capacity for love and an upgraded spiritual GPS.

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My last three birthdays coincided with Ramadan - won’t see that again for another 30 years. And there is far more devil in the details of these last three, very personal, very introspective Ramadans. My idiosyncratic process for growth can take a heavy toll. I’ve lived many lives very intentionally, and changed very intentionally…perhaps the advantage of believing reincarnation can occur both in this life and those to follow. Change is choice.

Regardless, and as with every Ramadan experience, I feel refreshed again. So much so I will be fasting this week for Shawwal - the month that follows Ramadan.

A beautiful, Happy Eid Mubarak to all.